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An orgasmic journey

Music. It’s incredible how this one word can mean so many different things to different people! It can transport you to another world at the blink of an eye. It an get you calm, romantic, repentant, philosophical…all in a jiffy. So it was that this weekend I went on a long, refreshing journey. Alone. Just me. And music.

This Saturday I was at a concert by a South Korean group called Gong Myong. They are a group of extremely versatile, young men who seem to play every type of instrument – be it flute, guitar, drums…and they have even discovered their own instrument made out of hollow bamboo barks – called Gong Myong (yes their group is named after this instrument).

I simply closed my eyes and let their music transport me. The melodious flute took me on a gentle, floating journey across lush, green paddy fields. I touched the soft green of the paddy and moved on light as the wind. Past the paddy fields across a breathtaking valley of wild flowers. I could almost smell their wild earthy smell. They grew untamed, in profusion, swaying in the breeze and I swayed with them.

The music changed – percussion dominated. And I was thrown into a harsh landscape. Climbing rocks. Traversing peaks and valleys. Breathing in cool, fresh mountain air. Ahead of me lay snow capped peaks. The rhythm urged me on as I moved determinedly towards that snow capped peak. Somehow I felt that out there was the peace I’m seeking. Frozen in time.

The Guitar came on and the mood changed. I was knee deep in desert sand. It’s glowing gold and its so soft that it feels like I’m walking on feathers. I give in to the softness of the sand and just laid myself down on its silken lap. The sand is so supple that I start sliding and floating gently down an endless dune.

The music reaches a crescendo. Suddenly I’m elsewhere in deep bamboo forest. Surrounded by these tall, green trees. Trapped in their embrace, my mind seeks a way out. I feel like I need to breathe. I rush past the bower of trees and suddenly in front of me is a clearing and I see a gushing waterfall. Its sound is harsh, yet the droplets of water that fall on my skin feel oh-so-gentle. I give in to the urge to go stand beneath it and let the water cleanse me. I plunge in expecting the water to the electrifyingly cool. But it is surprisingly warm. I stand there beneath its force. It splatters down on me. Beating like those heavy drums on my head. Coursing down my being. Getting into my skin. Flowing through my body. It strives to reach out to my soul. I stand still. The whole experience feels amazingly ethereal…

Suddenly the music ends.

As the audience claps appreciatively, I’m jerked awake and the vision pops like a bursting bubble. Ah the power of music. It’s almost orgasmic. They begin yet another song. I close my eyes and yet another journey begins…

Trapped in quicksand

I must get out of here. This loose, silken, flowing sand has me trapped. If I move and struggle to get out of that pit the sand just digs me in deeper. I have nowhere to hold and propel myself up. It’s just silken sand all around. It flows like water and fills the void around me. Its silken texture caresses my skin. Yet I feel choked. I must get out. And breathe fresh air. I must look at something other than this golden, silken sand around me. It is soft and warm like a cocoon. Yet I’m trapped in it. I could choose to stay there forever in its golden cage-like embrace. But I need to get out see what other choices I have.

Oh life, why have you trapped me here in this quicksand of emotions. This quicksand that sucks out all my energy and leaves me flailing my arms in despair. If I try to move…I simply come back where I started. My thoughts seem to make no progress.

I know I have only myself to blame. I shoved myself into this quicksand. I left behind the shores where I could hear the soothing sound of the waves and watch the stars. I left behind the valleys laden with beautiful flowers. I left behind the rainbow and the smell of the earth after the rains. I left behind the ray of sunshine and the silver lined clouds. I propelled myself into this dark alley. And now I’m trapped alone here.

I do not want to be ensnared here. I’m desperate to get out. But every bid now to get out here simply drags me in further. Will I see the rainbow from where I’m trapped? Or feel the rain on my skin. Or smell the fresh flowers. Or see that silver lining again? With each passing day this prospect seems bleaker.

I must find ways to get out. I must clear out some sand. Perhaps there is way out of this pit. Somehow I must find the lost shores and valleys. Somehow I must find hope. Yes somehow I must.

I dig the sand in desperation. Like water it quickly slides down to fill the spaces I clear. I must not let this bog me down. I must not let it break my spirit. I need to keep working at it. That’s the only way out. I hope that one day I will find a path to the world I have lost…