Every New Year’s eve I used to have this urge to do something. To make it special. To make it memorable. Have to. Have to. Have to. I’m not sure this is because everyone we know is doing something. And then later they ask – how was your New Year’s eve and we feel compelled to say how exciting ours was. I’m ashamed to say just for this I used to plan ‘something’ for every New Years’ eve.
The last four years I’ve done nothing special. This year I was with friends on the eve. We just chatted around, watched some television, wished each other at 12 am and then promptly went off to sleep. So is that going to make my year any less special? I don’t think so.
How does celebrating on New Year’s eve make the year more special? How does getting drunk on this day ensure that you’re on a high all through the year? How does getting together with friends and creating a whole lot of noise ensure that you have a peaceful year ahead?
While we boring people sat watching television at home, we heard the noise on the road around us. I peeped from the balcony to see a bunch of youngsters on their bikes, all high on something, all talking loudly, all unsteady and suddenly they all got on to the bike and sped away to some place. In that flush of youth you really have no idea where life is taking you. As you grow older you realize that you do not choose your destination. Life does. The sooner you realize that, the better for you. No harm in celebrating on New Year’s eve but why endanger your own life and the life of others around you? Why do we need strict police rules to force us to behave in a civilized fashion?
The next morning we woke up to newspapers filled with stories about youth in their 20’s who died celebrating on New Year’s eve. Bike accidents. Car accidents. Young people in their 20’s who wasted their lives for nothing. There were pictures of their mourning parents. It broke my heart. What were they trying to celebrate, really?
All I want for this new year is to be able to take each day as it comes. To have the maturity to accept and handle what life throws at me. To be able to make sensible decisions even during life’s tricky moments. To not be pressurized by what is expected of me and to do what I feel is right. I know now that life makes its own plans. It took me so many years to realize that! But I’m glad that I’ve finally given in to that higher power. It leaves me feeling calmer and more relieved. I like this feeling. I’m no longer the monkey with a herd instinct. I’m me. Finally I have found that ‘me’ somewhere.
I want to thank all my friends and all those who sweetly visit my blog. You have all certainly been part of my growing up. (A special thanks to OTEE and Jairaj here). You have helped me see the light. You have made me believe in myself. You have helped me find me. This year is going to be fun – because I’m going to be spending it with all you friends. And me. Happy New Year dearest friends